A New Life Emerging

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I have been going through a season or more like a whole year of intense pressure to make changes. The pressure is internal. A need to drive my life in a direction that is more fulfilling, more inline with who I am and who I feel is trapped deep inside.

I have a love of learning and gathering information. And then reading more and more and more. I love blogs, books, and if I have the time courses as well. I love that I gather ideas and and increase my knowing of better ways to eat, to add positivity, and to see how others are living through their blogs.

I’m drawn to stories and it fascinates me what interests and inspires others to live their lives the way they do.
It would take several posts to talk about all the blogs, books, and magazines that I’ve read over the last several years. And I still go to work and take care of my young family.

It’s what I love to do but then I realized that even though I love reading about improvements and great ideas that would make my life fuller, richer and more enjoyable, I’m NOT following through on almost all of these things.

WHY?

That question has plagued me. I realize now that I use up all my time (outside work and family) doing the reading and researching but I leave no time to actually make the changes in my life. It leaves me feeling restless and a bit of a failure when it comes to having a life that I love.

I love insights and have worked really hard to figure out who I am as I thought this was the answer to how I can really make changes and improve my eating, my energy, my direction in life. In turn I can be a better mom.
And certainly this intense search I embarked on over the last couple of years has helped. I finally figured out that I’m an ENFP and a type 4. I could not figure these out before! And it’s in realizing that I have a very open orientation to life and this meant that I could see myself in many types and also that I have had some experiences where I could not express who I was and has meant I keep the real me very private. So private that even I couldn’t access these parts of myself.

The culminating point happened when I went for an Evolutionary Astrology reading that BLEW MY MIND. She touched on my life long struggle to find my way and was able to pull out and explain pieces of me that need to be exposed and shared so that I can move forward. I sat in disbelief as she explained how I’m private and can’t even seem to know myself. That I love learning, pick up on concepts easily but have a hard time accepting one way of being in the world. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I also need to work on finishing something! She recognized that I start many things but don’t really get them off the ground. Like this blog, and I want to implement necessary diet changes to improve my health and learn some key skills to move my work life forward.

And here I am.

Ready to break out of my self imposed cocoon to share my journey in hopes that you can fly beautiful and free too!!

Ch, Ch, Changes

All around there is so much unrest not only in politics but in how we operate and interact with our world. Change is in the air in so many aspects that the uncertainty is overwhelming.

I have felt really called to reflect on my values and to try and discern how my values will drive my actions going forward.

If feels like our political, medical, and educational systems just don’t serve us in today’s world. There is something to be said for tradition, standards, systems and being lead by experts in these areas. But are there experts leading us? Who is really acting on our best interests?
What are our best interests? It’s enough to made me want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and come out when the world looks different.

How do we get the world to look different? How do we get more compassion, kindness, and trust? How do I help the world to look different? It feels so overwhelming. You’ve heard it before – how can my one voice make a difference?
And the answer I know – it’s when we add all the ones together to get a very large sum that DOES make a difference.

For me that means figuring out a path to making my one voice congruent with my values. If I can start here right now at what feels like step one. Even one positive step forward is better than staying stuck in the muck that seems to be cementing my feet.

I can start with a smile and words of kindness to crack the cement to break free from feeling like there is no hope. Hope will grow and expand bit by bit.

Which direction am I stepping? I don’t know!
I do know that every single institution that I have ignored and often just complained about needs to shift into a new way of being.

The government can’t lead changes, it has to start with me (and you!).

The medical system can’t do it only using one way of treating disease and not treating people.

The education system can’t do it by teaching what has always been taught and then expecting students to graduate and be equipped to operate in a chaotic world.

The corporate world can not maintain greed for some as the way to rationalize actions that hurt you and me.

It’s time to step into the unknown and I will share this journey of doing what I can to change, to change a bit of my world and I hope that ripples to meet your changes too.

It’s time to step forward and meet the world with what I can give, to add to hope to the best of my ability and to encourage you to join me.